The Father - Present, Patient and Firm
Sisters and Brothers,
Welcome to the Month of May, the month which our Church dedicates to our blessed Mother Mary. This month is the occasion for a "moving tribute of faith and love which Catholics in every part of the world pay to the Queen of Heaven. During this month Christians, both in church and in the privacy of the home, offer up to Mary from their hearts an especially fervent and loving homage of prayer and veneration. In this month, too, the benefits of God's mercy come down to us from her throne in greater abundance" (Paul VI: Encyclical on the Month of May, no. 1). In our parish, we inaugurated the month with a Mass which was celebrated by His Excellency Bishop Antoine-Charbel Tarabay, where he blessed the water and icons that will be taken into the homes of our parishioners. The May visits also commenced on Friday and you can see the weekly program in the Arabic section of the newsletter. Also, there will be many spiritual activities for young and old during this month, so please try to participate as much as you can and receive the fruits of God’s mercy.
I will continue to talk about the family in this corner and this week I would like to focus on the role of the Father. Despite the social and secular craziness of this age, every family needs a father! However we need to discern what kind of Father. Not a father who wants his son or daughter to be exactly like him, not a father who is never present and definitely not a father who is controlling and overbearing. A good father is someone who spends time with his wife and children and is happy to see his children develop their own identity and character. Pope Francis tells us that being present isn't the same as being overbearing and controlling for “parents who override their children too often do not let them grow…instead a father should be happy when his son and daughter learns to be honest and wise. That is what counts in life."
A good father is someone who is patient. When our children are faced with difficulties and failures, how do we react? Do we deride and ridicule them or do we protect and encourage them? Do we “slap them in the face”? During these times, our children are so vulnerable and they are yearning for our tenderness, compassion and guidance. This does not mean that we shouldn’t punish them; a good father is someone who is firm without humiliating, however it definitely means that he does not “slap them in the face”. Further, a good father is someone who prays for his wife and children. Patience and prayer go hand in hand.
The pope specifies the above three things for fatherhood, being present, patient and firm.
The father above all is a role-model and teacher. Many fathers today tell their children to act in a certain way while they do the exact opposite. Children pay attention to every move, every action and every word that their father speaks and they end up doing what their father does instead of what he says. This generally stems from the pride and status that we inherit from our patriarchal culture. Too often, father’s think that they are above everyone especially their wives and children and in turn become dictators instead of fathers. A good father is someone who can be a friend and a brother to his children. God has endowed the father and mother with a beautiful gift; he has made them sharers in creation. We pray that we can truly discern the splendour of this gift and truly be father’s in the image of our heavenly Father.
